After two months back in the office, it’s clear: I really like the people I work with.
That has been true for a while, but the return of socializing at work – aisle chats, happy hours, business trips – reminded me that work could be fun, and that who I spend each day with matters. No longer is it enough for me to work well with the coworkers behind the screen – now, it’s much more important that I like the coworkers sitting next to me. Eight hours each day is a long time to spend with anyone.
Until recently, who I worked with ranked far below where I worked and what I did. I focused on finding a job that fit my skillset and career goals, rather than finding a company and group of people that shared my values and interests. If I liked my interviewers I figured I’d like my future coworkers.
I suspect most of my peers took a similar approach, particularly at early stages of their career. Not only does most career preparation and advice focus on the what versus the who, but the entire process is setup to do the same. Job-match surveys help you identify what field to enter; career centers help you identify which companies are hiring; and interviews help you identify who will hire you. Few resources tackle the people.
Do you like a competitive or collaborative environment?
Do you want to work somewhere family-friendly or career-focused?
Do you expect to socialize with your coworkers or keep your distance?
The research shows that these questions are important. As Arthur Brooks writes in 10 Practical Ways to Improve Happiness: “Data have shown that work friendships increase employee engagement, which is associated with both happiness and productivity for workers.” He also recommends investing in friendships and joining a club, two things that are often accomplished in the workplace.
In another study, BCG asked over 200,000 employees what was most important in their jobs, and found that people and culture drive the top three:
- Good relationships with colleagues
- Good relationship with superior
- Good work-life balance
While not everyone will prioritize in the same way, it’s helpful to see what matters to the masses, particularly for those who have yet to figure out their own list.
With this knowledge, it’s easier to evaluate job opportunities holistically. In my case, another job offer does not simply need to compete on salary and career opportunity – it has to compensate for the loss of five years worth of strong relationships.
And if you don’t have strong ties to your coworkers, it’s clearly important to do what you can to develop them. Some examples of small relationship investments that have outsized returns:
Introduce yourself: If no one knows your name, it’s unlikely they’re going to talk to you. An introduction signals that you want to get to know the people you work with.
Open up: Talk about your personal life and ask your coworkers about theirs. It’s impossible to build strong relationships if you’re unwilling to share details about who you are.
Get involved: Most companies have some form of extracurriculars, whether affinity groups, intramural teams or book clubs. Set aside your reservations and just say yes – the best way to feel like a part of something is to be a part of something.
In the midst of The Great Resignation, I’ve been surprised by how many departures begin with an unsolicited LinkedIn message from a recruiter. “I came across your profile and think you’d be a great fit for X.” While there’s nothing wrong with these opportunities, they often require quick decisions that prioritize salary and title over the intangibles, like people. Rather than job hunting on their own terms, colleagues are jumping at opportunities that fall into their laps, leaving behind workplaces they enjoyed.
One friend, who recently received a similar offer, captured this phenomenon well. As she put it to me: “I love my boss and the head of my team, and I’m managing really interesting projects. But I’ve always wanted to work for X and they’re going to IPO soon.”
Depending on her priorities and aspirations, the move might be a no-brainer. But considering what she would be giving up – a job with great people and work – the decision merits much deeper evaluation. Just because a rival high school has slightly better AP classes and college acceptance rates doesn’t mean you’d be willing to uproot yourself from your friends and transfer. The same should go for companies.
A few questions she can ask herself:
- If not for the spontaneous offer, would I be happy with my current job?
- Could I apply for a similar job at X company in the future?
- How will the intangibles of this new job compare to my current one?
No matter how thorough the interview process, any new job requires swapping a known quantity for an unknown one. And since people and culture are harder to evaluate than salary and job function – and arguably more important for many people – it’s worth the effort to be thorough before making that trade. If the prospect of more money, faster advancement or a new challenge still outweighs who you’re leaving behind, then great. Those are legitimate reasons to take a new job, and you’ll feel confident in your decision.
In an employee’s market like this one, it’s worth the effort to be thoughtful about your next move. The people you work with should stay front and center.
– Emmett
p.s. – Feedback from my wife Anne and friend Sam made this piece far better than it was originally. Ask people you trust for feedback!
What I’m Reading:
13 Strategies That Will Make You a Better Reader – Ryan Holiday
My two favorites: Read for wisdom, not facts and read before bed!
The Forgotten Stage of Human Progress – Derek Thompson
“We need to invent a better world. We need to build what we’ve already invented.”
What I’m Listening To:
Brad Stuhlberg: Lessons for Sustainable Success – Rich Roll Podcast
“In a society that glorifies grinding and pushing to extremes, it takes guts to rest.”