“Ask, ‘Why is this so unbearable? Why can’t I endure it?’ You’ll be embarrassed to answer.”
– Marcus Aurelius
During the month of January, Anne and I followed the Whole 30 program, which required us to eliminate dairy, grains, legumes, alcohol, added sugars and processed food from our diet entirely. Over the coming weeks, we’ll selectively reintroduce certain foods to discover which serve us well and which don’t.
This wasn’t Anne’s first time on the diet, but it was the first year that I joined in. Previously, a few deeply held beliefs kept me on the sidelines:
- I already eat healthy
- I love bread and cheese too much to give them up
- The supposed benefits of the diet – higher energy and better sleep – aren’t real
I was confident I knew just how little I would get out of it.
Surprisingly, after 30 days, each of those beliefs turned out to be false.
I did eat a relatively healthy diet before Whole 30, but had a lot of room for improvement – particularly in the amount of processed snacks I was eating. I did love bread and cheese, but didn’t miss them like I thought I would. And despite not tracking my sleep or energy levels with precision, I felt healthier, simply as a result of paying more attention to what I ate and why.
This is not the first time that my deeply held beliefs have been wrong.
In college, I refused to go to the gym or exercise, and dismissed the people who did.
Exercise just wasn’t for me.
At the start of my career, I drank a lot of coffee and couldn’t imagine ever stopping.
I needed caffeine to stay sharp and high-functioning.
And in the last few years, I drank alcohol socially despite not really wanting to.
I couldn’t go to dinners, happy hours or weddings without drinking.
Of course, exercise is now one of the most important ingredients of my day. In 2020, I cut out caffeine for a few months and saw no impact on my ability to function on a daily basis. And for the past eight months, I have stopped drinking alcohol entirely and have seen zero impact on my social life.
Beliefs can be misleading.
One of the most common questions I get from friends and family during these periods of self-experimentation is Why?
Why do I deprive myself of things I love, like coffee, cheese or the occasional Michelob Ultra, just to prove that I can?
In some respects, that question is the right one. If my only goal were to maximize my body’s efficiency, I’m confident I would look back on my life with regret.
But the question misses entirely the key benefit I get from self-experimentation, which is not becoming healthier, or stronger or more disciplined.
Instead, the goal of self-experimentation is to challenge my deeply-held beliefs in the hope of discovering better ways to live.
If the worst thing to come from this past January was depriving myself of bread and cheese for 30 days, so be it. Compared to what I had to gain from the experience, that feels like a bargain.
And I did gain a lot from the Whole 30. In particular, I have developed new snack habits and an appreciation for home cooked meals that I will carry with me well beyond this month. Both practices are also symbolic of broader, more meaningful changes to my life: feeling better physically and mentally after eating, and spending more quality time with friends and family around the dinner table.
I would give up cheese any day in exchange for both of those things.
Ultimately, it shouldn’t be surprising that each of us, with our limited world view, hold beliefs about who we are and what works best for us that are untrue. Environmental influences can be quite strong, and maybe my love for cheese is less an inherent taste preference than a reflection of my dad’s love for cheese. Until we test our assumptions, there’s no way to know for sure.
If this sounds interesting to you, here are some questions to get started:
- What is one small thing in my life I couldn’t go without?
- What is everyone else doing around me that I would like to opt out of?
- What if this one thing weren’t true?
Simple questions like these go a long way. And if you’re anything like me, the discovery of flawed beliefs will only drive you to go digging for more.
– Emmett
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What I’m Reading:
It’s Time to Get Serious – Katherine Boyle
“The prevailing wisdom in Western nations is that the ages of 18-29 are a time for extreme exploration—the collecting of memories, friends, partners and most importantly, self-identity. A full twelve years of you! Self-discovery aided by platforms built for broadcasting photos of artisanal cocktails and brunch. And with no expectation for leadership because there will be time for that, a generation can absolve oneself of responsibility for their actions.”
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“It struck Lieber in that moment: how you spend money is a signal of what you value.”
What I’m Listening To:
Bill Perkins: Optimizing Life for Maximum Fulfillment – Peter Atia Drive Podcast
“In the game of life, what I’m solving for is regret minimization… I want the highest score in net fulfillment.”
James Clear – Tim Ferriss Show
“What do you think the odds are that the solutions you’ve come up with to the repeated problems in your life are the optimal one? It’s just so unlikely that whatever you happen to have stumbled into throughout life is the perfect way or the best habit that serves you most.”