Last spring I decided to quit a 100 mile race before the bulk of training had even begun. Here’s what I wrote then:
“From July to the end of September, I was going to be spending roughly eight to ten hours each weekend running. To me, at this point, that is not a fun level of commitment. That’s overkill.
“Does that mean I no longer want to accomplish 100 miles? Absolutely not. The first thought that crossed my mind, laying down after my run, was that I had more left in the tank. But how much more? That is the question that ultra-running tries to tease out. You know you have limits, but you keep failing to reach them. When I’m ready to find out, I’ll sign up for another 100 mile race.”
For those who have been following along, I did sign up for that second race, in the form of the Red Hook 100. I decided to run it back in April, and have spent the weeks since then slowly building up to the 8 to 10 hours per weekend running that I mentioned above. Two weeks ago, in Maine, I ran 20 miles on Saturday and 30 miles on Sunday, for a total of 8 hours and 3,000 feet of elevation gain. Last week I ran 17 miles on a treadmill and then 20 miles around a track, in the hot afternoon sun.
My biggest takeaway? I was more worried about my health than I let on. After the treadmill run I felt numbness in my left arm and started worrying about heart failure. After the 20 miles on the track I was coated in a thick layer of salt and figured I was an hour away from much more serious heat stroke. Both had me questioning why I was going to run 100 miles around a track in the hot sun. Best case I would prove something to myself about discipline, and suffering, and toughness. Worst case? The worst case was starting to seem worse than I’d initially imagined. The purpose of sport and working out is health, and here I was starting to envision all sorts of bad health outcomes.
Just three weeks ago, on this site, I wrote that:
“If there’s one thing I can say about myself, it is that fear of things like spontaneous heart attacks does not usually cross my radar. I’m risk-adverse when it comes to things like sky-diving, motorcycles etc… But I know the likelihood of super random health calamities and can sit relatively at ease knowing they’re possible.”
And now here I was, getting in my head about these crazy unlikely calamities. That’s not the type of mental distress I’m looking for. There’s a clear line between healthy struggle and unhealthy struggle.
Does that mean the race would have been impossible, or those bad outcomes likely? No. But I’ve always had fun running, even during the hard parts, and this was no longer fun. I could tell my family wasn’t totally comfortable with the idea and that made it harder to push through the doubts. But those first seedlings came from within, and above all it pays to listen to yourself in situations like this.
To top it all off – and to make the decision much easier – it turns out the track I was planning to run on closed this week for construction. It’s not slated to re-open until 2023… so maybe that’s when this 100 miles will finally happen. When it does, I’ll be sure to pick a race in November.
In case anyone is interested in the full training schedule:
| Date | Distance | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| 5-Apr | 4 mi | 8:08 |
| 6-Apr | 6 mi | 8:07 |
| 7-Apr | 6 mi | 8:07 |
| 8-Apr | 6 mi | 7:51 |
| 9-Apr | 6 mi | 7:36 |
| 10-Apr | 18 mi | 8:03 |
| 11-Apr | – | |
| 12-Apr | 6 mi | 7:59 |
| 13-Apr | 6 mi | 7:52 |
| 14-Apr | 6 mi | 8:08 |
| 15-Apr | 5 mi | 8:21 |
| 16-Apr | 6 mi | 7:54 |
| 17-Apr | 5 mi | 7:38 |
| 18-Apr | – | |
| 19-Apr | 5 mi | 7:50 |
| 20-Apr | 6 mi | 7:46 |
| 21-Apr | 6 mi | 7:35 |
| 22-Apr | 10 mi | 7:30 |
| 23-Apr | – | |
| 24-Apr | 20 mi | 8:36 |
| 25-Apr | – | |
| 26-Apr | 4 mi | 8:23 |
| 27-Apr | 6 mi | 7:45 |
| 28-Apr | 6 mi | 7:55 |
| 29-Apr | – | |
| 30-Apr | 10 mi | 7:31 |
| 1-May | 20 mi | 8:22 |
| 2-May | – | |
| 3-May | 6 mi | 8:13 |
| 4-May | – | |
| 5-May | 4 mi | 7:59 |
| 6-May | 10 mi | 7:51 |
| 7-May | 4 mi | 7:36 |
| 8-May | 20 mi | 8:36 |
| 9-May | – | |
| 10-May | 5 mi | 8:04 |
| 11-May | 6 mi | 7:12 |
| 12-May | 4 mi | 7:44 |
| 13-May | 6 mi | 7:48 |
| 14-May | 10 mi | 7:22 |
| 15-May | – | |
| 16-May | 10 mi | 7:48 |
| 17-May | 6 mi | 7:56 |
| 18-May | 4 mi | 8:00 |
| 19-May | 6 mi | 7:33 |
| 20-May | 10 mi | 7:54 |
| 21-May | 4 mi | 7:47 |
| 22-May | 24 mi | 9:48 |
| 23-May | – | |
| 24-May | 4 mi | 8:10 |
| 25-May | 6 mi | 8:00 |
| 26-May | 10 mi | 7:50 |
| 27-May | 10 mi | 7:35 |
| 28-May | – | |
| 29-May | 26 mi | 8:30 |
| 30-May | – | |
| 31-May | 6 mi | 8:25 |
| 1-Jun | – | |
| 2-Jun | 10 mi | 8:29 |
| 3-Jun | 12 mi | 8:53 |
| 4-Jun | – | |
| 5-Jun | 9 mi | 8:35 |
| 6-Jun | 13 mi | 8:34 |
| 7-Jun | 6 mi | 8:26 |
| 8-Jun | 6 mi | 8:11 |
| 9-Jun | – | |
| 10-Jun | 13 mi | 8:22 |
| 11-Jun | 30 mi | 9:05 |
| 12-Jun | – | |
| 13-Jun | 6 mi | 8:30 |
| 14-Jun | 3 mi | 8:34 |
| 15-Jun | 6 mi | 8:19 |
| 16-Jun | 6 mi | 8:05 |
| 17-Jun | 10 mi | 8:15 |
| 18-Jun | – | |
| 19-Jun | 3 mi | 8:33 |
| 20-Jun | – | |
| 21-Jun | 6 mi | 8:05 |
| 22-Jun | 6 mi | 8:09 |
| 23-Jun | 6 mi | 8:19 |
| 24-Jun | 6 mi | 8:19 |
| 25-Jun | 20 mi | 9:13 |
| 26-Jun | 30 mi | 9:59 |
| 27-Jun | – | |
| 28-Jun | – | |
| 29-Jun | 6 mi | 8:31 |
| 30-Jun | 10 mi | 8:34 |
| 1-Jul | – | |
| 2-Jul | 17 mi | 8:30 |
| 3-Jul | 6 mi | 8:30 |
| 4-Jul | 20 mi | 9:27 |
| 5-Jul | – |