Defining Core Values

There are few people who have impacted my life more over the last few years than Robert Glazer, author of the Friday Forward newsletter and host of the Elevate Podcast. Robert’s writing is always highly relevant to my own life, and my phone is full of notes from his podcast interviews. He’s an inspirational leader who has influenced my writing and thinking in many ways.

Robert created a workbook that he calls the Whole Life Dashboard, which helps with “staying on task, prioritizing, being accountable and connecting the long- and short-term.” Essentially, it is a tool that pulls together values, goals and tactical plans in one place.

I’ve always assumed that my actions were in some way guided by core values, but before going through the exercise, I had never explicitly articulated what my values were. As Robert Glazer puts it:

“Your core values are the non-negotiable principles that are most important to you. They serve as your guideposts or ‘swim lanes. When you do things that align with your values, you feel energized. When you do things that violate your values, you feel drained, frustrated or even isolated.”

I was going through life blind to my swim lanes.

Now, almost a year later, that’s no longer the case. My Whole Life Dashboard sits unopened, collecting dust on the computer, but I revisit my values every day, which I have written on the first page of my journal and on a notecard pinned above my desk:

  • Help others
  • Learn from the best
  • Spread positivity
  • Do the right thing
  • Family first

The list has hardly changed since that first quick and dirty iteration. I may not have articulated my values before, but they were lying close beneath the surface. And as time has passed, the original five I wrote down feel just about right. It’s clear that I’m energized when my actions align with these values, and out of sync when they don’t.

It might seem like a small thing, but writing down core values, and reflecting on them often, makes them easier to follow. My values are now as much a part of my identity as being a husband or runner, and help simplify my decision-making on a daily basis.

For example, a few months ago I took a 24-hour trip home to Baltimore for a family party. I had a lot going on that weekend in New York, but rather than evaluate all the various commitments on my plate, I asked myself what family first required of me and took the trip. Looking back, not only did a values-based decision lead to a better outcome, but it helped avoid unnecessary anguish over my choice. The decision just felt right.

Alternatively, I am now more aware of all the things that aren’t core values, which in my experience can distract me from what truly matters. Two in particular are kindness and success, which are worthy pursuits but not my highest priorities. Often these two are in harmony with the list above, but in some cases they are not – and without a clear idea of which are non-negotiable, it’s easy to make decisions that leave me unfulfilled.

Of course, I still struggle to align my decisions to my core values. Writing them down is no magic bullet. But it is the critical first step in a lifelong journey towards closer alignment. Without knowing where I’m headed, I’ve got no hope of getting there.

As we get closer to the end of the year, I’m spending more time reflecting on how I’ve grown in the past 12 months, and what changes I’m thankful to have brought into my life.

Clearly articulating core values is at the top of my list, and something I would recommend to anyone.

– Emmett

“Closing the gap between who we want to be – which is our values – and what we do in our daily life, is one of the big projects of living.”
Angela Duckworth

What I’m Reading:

You May Want to Marry My Husband – Amy Krouse Rosenthal
“I want more time with Jason. I want more time with my children. I want more time sipping martinis at the Green Mill Jazz Club on Thursday nights. But that is not going to happen. I probably have only a few days left being a person on this planet. So why I am doing this?”

100 Amazing Mini Habits That Will Make 2016 Awesome – Nelson Wang
Some of my favorites: Give credit where credit is due, dip your toes in the water, lead with or without the title

1997 Letter to Shareholders – Jeff Bezos, Amazon
“However, as we’ve long said, online bookselling, and online commerce in general, should prove to be a very large market, and it’s likely that a number of companies will see significant benefit. We feel good about what we’ve done, and even more excited about what we want to do.”

What I’m Listening To:

Three Things I Learned When My Plane Crashed – Ric Elias (5 min)
“I collect bad wines – because if the wine is ready, and the person is there, I’m opening it.”

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